06 April 2008

How Stimulating

Like millions of other Americans, I got a cheerful note from the IRS.  “Dear Taxpayer:  We are pleased to inform you that the United States Congress passed and President George W. Bush signed into law the Economic Stimulus Act of 2008... Under this new law, you may be entitled to a payment of up to $600...”


Oh, thank you, gracious IRS.  Permit me, with bowed head, to express my humble gratitude.  How generous of you to return, in this one-time gesture of your munificence, a tiny fraction of my own money that you seize every two weeks to pay for the bloated federal government and its regulatory apparatus.  It is my deepest honor to pay for my own alms.  Long live the IRS!

4 comments:

LB said...

(To be read with best Thurston Howellesque protruding chin and frozen lips):

Sarcasm does not become you, my dear.

SB said...

Really? I thought sarcasm was the soul of wit. Or was that brevity...?

LB said...

If you're going to quote Shakespeare to my Thurston Howell III impersonation, I have no choice but to counter with a Dorothy Parker bon mot.

"Brevity is the soul of lingerie."

C. August said...

Sorry, LB, I actually thought it was funny. And I had a very similar thought when I got a practically bubbly letter informing me that, depending on how I fit their formula, I could be the proud re-owner of up to $1800 of my own money!

I'm assuming, of course, that this lump sum payment is taxable as "income", so they may as well just take their 25% protection money off top to begin with.

What crock of shi'ite.